Linear【新书】Stuff White People Like (水城百事)
昨天在混球邮报上看到的报道，是个加拿大人在加州写的，
这本书一开始是这个哥们自己闲得蛋疼在Wordpress上开了
个blog，后来发现居然每天有上万流量，终于成了书。
他的书可以说是比较深刻地揭露了现在那些所谓的“左派”的
那种心态
这里有他关于这本书的介绍：
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
里面有个很长的列表
其中之一：
#117 Political Prisoners
For the most part, this list has offered ways to befriend white people one at a time. However, if you want to befriend a large number of white people at the same time, the easiest way to do it is to go to jail for political reasons.
White people love political prisoners because they are individuals who have been locked up because their beliefs or their presence stands in defiance of an unjust system. In fact, most white people would love to be locked up for their beliefs provided that they could go to a jail with private toilets, plenty of books and no rape.
Instead, white people are forced to turn those dreams of oppression into something more productive. Specifically the belief that one day their law degree, graphic design skill, or ability to attend a concert can be used to free a political prisoner.
If you happen to be this individual, then you have no further work to do. White people already like you and will provide for you financially in the form of book deals, commencement addresses, and documentaries. But do not assume that these are the only people who can benefit from their time in jail.
Political prisoners make excellent choices whenever a white person asks you to name a personal hero. If they drop an answer like “Kurt Cobain” or “Toni Morrison” you can easily trump them by offering up a name like Mumia Abu Jamal or Nelson Mandela which will show white people that you are smart, well informed, and political. Or that you own at least one Rage Against the Machine CD.
But what if you pick the wrong political prisoner? Impossible. This is because political prisoners do not exist until a famous white person has drawn attention to them. Until that point, any person who has been locked up for their beliefs is just a regular prisoner and subsequently not worthy of graffiti stencils.
Conversely, if you ever find yourself needing to end a friendship with a white person you can simply say something like “well, he’s a criminal he belongs in jail. I don’t care what the Beastie Boys have to say about it.”
End of friendship.
Stuff White People Like, #42 Sushi
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/30/42-sushi/
![[image]](http://farm1.static.flickr.com/208/497295611_54d334c4df_m.jpg)
Regardless if you are vegetarian, vegan, or just guilty about eating meat, all white people love Sushi. To them, it’s everything they want: foreign culture, expensive, healthy, and hated by the ‘uneducated.’
But there are different levels of white person Sushi love. At the bottom are the spicy tuna/california roll eaters. These are the people who get their fix at places named “Rock And Roll!” “Magic Sushi Company,” or Trader Joes-type supermarkets. Often times, this sushi isn’t the most authentic, but white people can’t get enough!
The next level up is the entry level Sushi snob, these are people who still love rolls, but are willing to branch out to Salmon and Tuna sashimi, maybe even eel.
Finally, you have the white sushi snob. These people just take it all way too far. Often times, they will only sit at the sushi bar, will try to order in Japanese and will only order Omakase. These people will often be extremely critical of anyone who eats a roll of any type or does not properly flip the nighiri into their mouths.
When white people get Sushi they all want to order Sake to complete the authentic experience.
So, how can this information be turned into personal gain?
White people are obsessed with finding good sushi, therefore if you offer to take them to ‘the best sushi place’ in town, you are sure to have them accept. If you are Asian man, this is an almost no-fail method of getting dates with white girls, and maybe, just maybe joining Bruce Lee and Paul Kariya’s dad.
In addition, going out for Sushi is considered a special evening in white person culture. Not as special as breakfast, but still, it comes with expectations.
But what if the person you are interested in is a vegetarian? Not a problem. For some reason, most white people who say they are vegetarians will eat Sushi. Apparently, fish aren’t cute enough to warrant inclusion with pigs, chickens and cows.
喜欢sushi
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#11 Asian Girls
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绝对值得一看，可以真正了解他们想什么
#6 Organic Food
![[image]](http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/whitedecision.jpg)
Because of the balance of global wealth and power, there is a general assumption that white people are pretty shrewd. And for the most part, history has proven this to be true. But white people have one great weakness: organic food.
As seen by the image on the left – when faced with eating food that has been processed and loaded with nitrates, sodium and saturated fat, or organic rat poison, 10/10 they will take the rat poison.
Just like with farmers markets, white people believe that organic food is grown by farmers who wear overalls, drive tractors, and don’t use pesticide. In spite of the fact that most organic food is made by major agribusiness, and they just use it as an excuse to jack up prices, white people will always lose their mind for organic anything. Never mind the fact that if the world were to switch to 100% organic food tomorow, half the earth would die of starvation.
But white people don’t care, just so long as they aren’t eating pesticides they are pretty sure they can live forever.
It’s almost guaranteed that if some Colombian drug lord can start offering “organic” cocaine, he’ll be the richest guy ever.
还要看各种各样的Responses
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